So, I’ve been thinking about me and my place in this society and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a sharp distinction between being liked and being tolerated. I’m always looking for the signs to get the idea but in the end its just a feeling, like a dark cloud of certainty that is growing bigger.

The problem is that people seldomly tell you how they really think about you. And as much as I’d like the thought of them just being friendly or even feel pity, I think its more about not wanting any trouble or discussion that might end up being uncomfortable for them. Problems tend to fade away on their own most of the time, tell me about it. And really, it reached a point where I would rather get a straight up ‘fuck you and get lost’ than this subtile bitchery.

As this part of my life nears its end (I can feel it), I need some serious ideas on how to reboot it all – but leaving everything behind seems like cheating myself and bailing out.

What to do… what to do…